Lunches This Week: Subway, Blimpie and Expired Doritos

My colleagues  and I in the Paperwork Department have been on edge this week because of certain directives sent down by “management” that have seemingly flooded us with small items to do in the office while we are being publicly flogged for not being out of the office and selling our useless product more.  On our endless quest to figure out exactly who moved our cheese, we were able to take a few short breaks to re-fuel with delicious lunches.  Here are those lunches:

Monday

ManMeat leads us off with some pizza that he brought in from Vezzo (29th and Lexington in NYC) with raw garlic, pepperoni and sweet peppers.  The thin crust doesn’t appear to be much of a filler, but he assures us all that it was delicious enough to do the job.

BLD/HG visited the deli in our building, bringing back and very impressive looking sandwich, along with a colorful medley of items that he grabbed from the salad bar.  I don’t think there has been a more classic bodega-made looking sandwich on this website yet.

I brought in leftovers of a stirfry that I made the night before, which consisted of chicken, broccoli, carrots and onions, along with a standard white rice base.  My usual routine when heating up something like this is to throw it in the microwave for about a minute and a half then take it out, stir it around and put it back in for another two-to-three minutes.  Unfortunately on Monday someone else grabbed the microwave when I was stiring my food, causing me to wait another three minutes before I could put my meal back.  When you’re hungry at work and waiting for the microwave, three minutes feels like an absolute eternity.

Tuesday

ManMeat and BLD/HG went to Cafe Trend (“trend setters in the modern food market”) for a few sandwiches, even though they are famous for their non-McDonald’s egg mcmuffins.  BLD/HG was concerned about his high blood pressure, presumably caused by his intense work here at Contradiction Incorporated, so he decided to go for a healthy meal including a Diet Coke with a heart on it.  Some of you might think that the heart had something to do with Valentine’s Day that just passed, but we can keep that between us.  The wrap consisted of turkey, avocado, tomato and honey mustard, and probably some other sandwich items, but I can’t tell what they are from the picture and BLD/HG doesn’t remember.  A small bag of pretzels accompanied the sandwich.

As I mentioned, ManMeat also got lunch from the Trend Setters, deciding to go with turkey, lettuce, tomato, red onion, and honey mustard on a wheat  joined by two pickles (BLD/HG got jipped of his) and a bag of Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips, a top-10 chip in King Morland’s book.

And for transparacy’s sake, here is an action shot of BLD/HG and ManMeat getting ready to pay for their meals:

I brought a sandwich in from home made of Boars Head buffalo chicken, some mixed greens and a little mayo.  I would have loved a bag of chips to go with it, but instead settled on a banana and a Dannon Light & Fit Strawberry and Banana yogurt.  And yes, I am only comfortable eating that because I’m already married.

Wednesday

While walking to Cafe Trend on Tuesday we passed by a Blimpie that we didn’t know about and BLD/HG decided to try it out on Wednesday.  Given that Subway has made the phrase “$5 footlong” famous, we just assumed that Blimpie would have a similar deal.  Not so.  While the sandwich was at least 12-inches, the sandwich, bag of chips and soda cost BLD/HG $12.35!  We’re still not sure what could possibly cost that much, but it should be noted that BLD/HG did throw down the full 12-13 inches with no problem.

I brought in leftovers of a turkey burger, roasted cauliflower and tater tots, which naturally didn’t heat up that well (not crispy) but still did the job.  I borrowed some of ManMeat’s Habanero Heat Wave, adding some nice punch to the meal.

ManMeat brought in leftovers as well, a delicious smelling jap chae made by Mrs. ManMeat’s mother.  He mentioned that he doesn’t like mushrooms, which jap chae has plenty of, but ManMeat admits that he loves them when they are in any meal that his meat-in-law makes.  Surrounding the meal are a number of cologne samples that The Don brought in last week.

Thursday

ManMeat and BLD/HG had another lunch date on Thursday, visiting Subway in response to the wallet-emptying trip of Blimpie the day before.  BLD/HG went with grilled chicken and a plethora of vegetables, including an olive that has unceremoniously been lodged into the side of his whole wheat roll.

ManMeat went with a sandwich that had more vegetables in it than most salads.  Speaking of salads, ManMeat uses the word “salad” when speaking about vegetables, due to the language barrier of being from a country on the other side of the pond.  Included is a cupcake, a Fiber One bar that ManMeat brought to Cancun and brought back uneaten, and some Burst Mentos Gum which legitimately has over 200 ingredients.  However, it is sugar free!

I brought in another buffalo chicken sandwich and some grapes and a banana.  And that’s all I have to say about that.

Later in the day I ate an apple that I had also brought in and had to take a picture after my first bite.  Look like anything?  Maybe something that was on a Diet Coke earlier in this post?

Friday

ManMeat ended up only eating $2.50 worth of his $5 footlong yesterday, so he decided to eat the rest today, along with a few small bell peppers that he brought, which he was dipping in jalapeno hummus that he brought in a few cupcake wraps.  Can’t say I’ve ever seen that before.

BLD/HG revisited the deli downstairs today and got another mix of food, including a monte cristo panini, a mix of items from the salad bar (pasta salad, a few mozzarella balls and some sushi-looking thing), and then a chicken salad sandwich from our pantry.  He said he would only eat the chicken salad sandwich if he was still hungry after everything else.  If you’re curious, the sandwich is now gone.

For no-meat-during-Lent Friday, I brought in some tuna fish to make a sandwich, along with a few carrot sticks and a mixed berry and pomegranate yogurt.  Thinking that this wasn’t enough, I went down to the deli with BLD/HG and picked up a Diet Dr. Pepper and a bag of Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos.  While the chips had an interesting flavor to them, I became concerned when I realized that the bag was clearly stamped with “Guaranteed Fresh Until Printed Date. Feb 9.”  Today is March 12th.  Deciding that the worst case scenario for eating stale chips wasn’t all that bad, I dove in.  As of 3:33pm today, I feel fine.

If the illness or death from eating expired spicy sweet chili Doritos makes this the last “Lunches of the Week” that I ever write, then it’s been a wild ride and I thank everyone for reading.  If I turn out to be okay, then please check back in again next week for a new culinary tour by me and my colleagues in the Paperwork Department at Contradiction Incorporated!

Update (March 12 – 3:39pm): A friend of mine who runs a food blog that I read and link to sent me a picture of his lunch yesterday and I promised to put it up, so here it is:

As described in his email to me: For your blog – roast beef, red onion, horseradish herb mayo on a sesame seed roll from Dickinson’s Farmstand Meats. Very disappointed in size, price, and that it was pre-made hidden behind the counter, but still tasty.